ARTICLES
The following article can be found on the health and fitness website www.sparkpeople.com. It first appeared on May 31, 2009.
Jim Rodgers, a SparkPeople member known as CONAN76 (below, with his son), learned the hard way that life doesn't work out the way you planned. Now 44, with a great marriage, a wonderful teaching job and a loving family, he is far removed from the heart-breaking divorce that left him a struggling single dad.
Through it all, Jim kept his chin up, even when life seemed unbearable. When he turned 43, he decided to share his life lessons, writing a book called The Old Guy Rules. Jim believes in the power of fitness and wants to prove that life--for guys and gals--doesn't begin or end at a certain age. In our youth-inspired culture, he discusses how he feels simultaneously wise and naive. He shared his inspiring story with the dailySpark. 
What does it mean to be “old”? I began writing my book, The Old Guy Rules, on my 43rd birthday. As I write this article for SparkPeople.com, I am 44. Do I feel old? Absolutely not. I feel like I’m a baby, just getting started. That could have something to do with the fact that I’m a teacher and most of my friends are retired teachers, ranging in age from 55-75 years old. I’ve been at my current school, Glenbard North High School in the Chicago suburbs, for over 15 years now, and many of the guys with whom I taught when I first came here are now retired, much to their delight and my dismay. But not a single one of those guys thinks he’s old or acts old. Most of them act like they’re still in high school, even if they don’t exactly look like it. In the summer, I work out at a gym with six retired teachers from Glenbard North High School every morning and have a ball. I can’t help feeling young around those guys. They never fail to remind me how old they are, but they act like they’re still in high school, and even that might be stretching the level of maturity at times.
My kids and my students think I’m positively ancient. My daughter, who is almost 18, calls me “Pa” and “Old Man” when I fall asleep on the sofa watching House with her at 8 p.m. But I get up at 4 every morning to work out before school, and I feel pretty darned young when I do that. I can still outrun my kids, though the margin of victory isn’t quite what it once was.
Recently, I’ve started thinking about my mortality. I’m not going to live forever; I know that. I’d like to hang around another 40 or 50 years, God willin’ and the creek don’t rise, and there are a lot of things I hope to accomplish in those years. Still, I know they will go fast, and I do have to admit that even though I know that I’m not 21 anymore, I honestly feel like I am. I work out twice a day, practice martial arts, have tons of energy, have kept myself in great shape, and I honestly can’t wait to wake up in the morning. I have so many friends and colleagues who ask me how I do it, so I thought I’d write a book. After all, I’m an English teacher. I ought to be able to write a book about myself and how I’ve chosen to live my life now that, according to my daughter, I’m screaming headlong into my “twilight years.”
I decided to call my book The Old Guy Rules as sort of an ambiguous paradox. My kids say I’m old, so in one sense this will be a set of rules by which I, an “Old Guy,” have chosen to live each day. But I also wanted the title to express a confidence, almost a cockiness, about being an “Old Guy,” kind of like when a kid says, “Metallica Rules!” We live in a society that worships and rewards youth, and I think it’s about time that someone stuck up for the Old Guys out there who still have a lot to bring to the table. And just to clarify, by “Old Guys” I mean both male and female, like when someone says to a room of men and women, “you guys.” Our club doesn’t discriminate against women. We seek out women. By including them, we become much smarter and better looking as a group. Being 44, I may not be the most qualified to call myself an Old Guy, but my kids and my students call me old, and that’s good enough for me. Besides, I am one of the last of the Baby Boomers, so I think that qualifies me as well.
My book is not about unrealistic expectations like becoming a millionaire in two months or looking like Arnold Schwarzenegger in just a few minutes a day, but it is an honest attempt at helping people improve their lives and perspective as they head into the latter stages of those lives. I’ve been able to live a truly blessed life, and I wanted to pass on some things that I’ve learned to others so they could be blessed as well. I’ve put those lessons in the form of a list of rules in my book, some of which I would like to share now with the members of SparkPeople.com.
Rule Number One: Learn the Value of Hard Times
“He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those that he has.” (Epictetus)
Many people look at my life now and think I’ve got it made, and I guess, in a lot ways, I do. But much of my life today has been forged in the heat of some tough times. My first wife left me with two small children (ages 5 and 2) to raise on my own. My son contracted spinal meningitis at 18 months and nearly died, going through years of physical therapy, suffering seizures, and enduring endless neurological evaluations while growing up. Those two experiences shaped many of my attitudes and strengthened my resolve to make the most of my life.
Rule Number 2:
Get Your Attitude Right
“There is nothing either bad or good, except thinking makes it so.”
(William Shakespeare)
So many people talk about having a good attitude, but how many people actually work at it? This chapter discusses the importance of diligently, painstakingly working on your attitude every single day. Only through filling your mind with positive, uplifting thoughts can you change your life significantly.
Rule Number 3:
Use Your Time Wisely
“Time is at once the most valuable and the most perishable of all our possessions.” (John Randolph)
Time truly is our most precious commodity. Think about your biggest fear in life: losing it. When you lose your life, you’re losing time. It stands to reason that you should make the most of every piece of time you have. As a single parent, I had no choice but to make the most of the little free time I had every day. I got my Master’s Degree by going to night school while kids from my classes would baby sit my kids. I was getting 3-4 hours of sleep a night most nights after returning from class, grading papers until after midnight, and then getting up at 4 to get in a quick workout before getting the kids ready, taking them to the sitter, and heading off to teach. I learned through necessity different ways to manage and make the most of my time, and, although I have more free time now that my children are older, I still use those techniques to get the most out of every day.
Comments From Readers at Sparkpeople.com:
WONDERFUL AMAZING OUTSTANDING INSPIRATIONAL BEAUTIFUL JUST PERFECTION! I love your article. I am 30 and although that may be young, a year ago I felt very old. Fibromyalgia and herniated disks held me back along with a lot of excuses. I started reading "Excuse Me Your Life is Waiting" and "The Secret" last summer after my husband left and I was drowning in depression. I am a single mother and unable to work full time from the pain. Those 2 books made me realize the power of positive thinking and how to change the negative thoughts and excuses into more positive thoughts, actions and behaviors. Now 1 year later, I work out 2 hours everyday, lift weights and am down 50 pounds. I am almost there where I want to be, YEAH! Your book sounds like just what I need right now. I am going to write my list of rules. Thank you for being so honest and sharing. If everyone follows your example we can change the world one person at a time! Laugh Dance Hug Workout! (Marisol)
Jim,
I just finished reading chapter one of your book. I'll admit that I was getting a little concerned. I was wondering if it was going to have a happy ending. ;) You certainly had to overcome a lot of adversity to achieve your goals.
And that's where your story is a real inspiration. You didn't let adversity get you down. Chapter One spells it out. Rule Number One: Learn the Value of Hard Times, you learned value from your hard times.
Some folks faced with the same adversity would have turned to alcohol or drugs. You didn't. You set a goal and you stuck to it. The problem with today's society is that some people are afraid to do a little hard work. They expect life to be handed to them on a plate. They don't know how to deal with adversity. They can't cope.
No, when the pieces of your life were strewn about, you pieced them back together better than before. That takes resolve and hard work. Two things that we need more of in this day and age.
And what really amazes me is that with all this going on i.e. your educational studies, taking care of your family, etc... you still managed to make time to stay fit.
Thank you once again for posting on Spark People.
Jim, your book is an inspiration to all the Baby Boomers, Gen-Xers and Me generation members out there. It goes to show that life doesn't end at 40 ! It's just the beginning.
Also, you do bring up a very good point. We all do have to be realistic. Aging does happen to us all. I'm not a teenager. I don't want to look like one or dress like one. When I read magazines, it does some times seem like 40 something women are expected to have the same figure they had when they were a teen. That's pretty unrealistic.
No, I plan on aging gracefully. My age is one thing I've never been ashamed of and tried to hide.
Great article, Jim ! (Karen)
Wow! This post couldn't have come at a better time! I'm facing my 30th birthday in about 10 days and I am so not happy about it. I never thought I'd be one of "those" people who worried about their age. This blog entry helps put things in a better perspective...although, I still have to work on obtaining the positive perspective. :)
Thanks for sharing! (LeAnne)
I loved reading this story! My sister went to Glenbard North as did half the people I knew growing up, so it was great to hear a story from a "local guy". I loved the passion and conviction Jim wrote with and you could feel he lives life to the fullest, regardless of how difficult the road was to get there. Such a great commentary on looking at life from a different perspective. Thanks so much, Jim! (Shannon)
What a wonderful blog!! I commend you for staying with what was important.
Raising your kids as a single parent, is pretty tough and KUDOS to you.
What an inspiration you are and I bet your children are very PROUD of their
DAD..... (Irene)
The book sounds like a very interesting read and I am hoping to get a chance to read it soon. I am also 44 and realize that age is just a number. My body/mind is confused, my body has issues, but my mind has never grown up! (Linda)
More Power to you!! Im gonna be 48 years old and I feel like I'm 29.... I concider age a number Not a generation.. Your as old as you feel so I commend you on your success and your courage and teach your son the same what works for you works for your family and who other else listens. I certainly am.. god bless you bro. and may your endeavours continue to be successful. (Nan)
Wow, so inspirational and I wish there were more people like you out there. I look forward to reading this book and learning how to improve my life even more. Thanks for sharing and I'll definitely check out the book! (Adriane)
What a great inspiration!!! Thanks for sharing and I can't wait to read your book!!!
May God continue to bless you richly!!! (Helen)
Good Morning Jim and Thank You for the great story. I saved it so I can read the 3 rules often. (Donna)
Jim - wonderful words to live by. I just turned 50 and I love telling people how old I am and watching the shock looks because I don't look my age. I was a single mom and a survivor of an abusive marriage. Spark has helped me a lot in terms of weight, but also in feeling good about myself and turning my life around. I hope that at 60 I still feel as good, but I know I will still be enjoying life. (Cindi)
Thanks Jim for this. The first 3 rules you give are great. I am glad there are people like you who make us who will approach that number not feel old just growing up :) Thanks (Irene)
Thanks for this great blog, Jim! I wish more people would be proud of themselves no matter what age they are . I think people use age as an excuse to not keep up with fitness, work - living life really! I once heard a friend say in her late 20s that she was getting old. All I could say was that if you think you are old now, then you are going to be in a very sore state when you are actually old! C'mon people! Age is what you make of it, so make the best of it! Don't let yourself feel old no matter what! I am about to turn 30 and I am absolutely happy about that. Jim sets a great example for all of us, so we should follow his lead! Keep on, keepin' on! :) (Kelly)
Buy Your Copy of THE OLD GUY RULES Now!
Batavia Sun Article Written by Tom Parisi (appeared on July 15, 2009)
Wise and not-so-old Batavian pens book of rules to live by
If there was a rock-bottom low point for Jim Rodgers, it was 1994. He says he had passed up a dream job to follow his wife to California—only to find she was no longer interested in their marriage. Returning to Illinois without a job and with his two small children in tow, he moved into his parents’ home.
If there was a high point, well, it would likely be today.
That’s because Rodgers now tackles every day with the same amount of energy and enthusiasm that he brought to the gridiron more than two decades ago at downstate Eureka College, where he was a Division III Academic All-American football player.
This summer, the 44-year-old Batavian, an English teacher at Glenbard North High School, has reached a milestone of particular significance. His book, “The Old Guy Rules” (Small Dogma Publishing), is coming out in paperback late this month.
Friends of Rodgers who knew his background said he ought to write a book about his life. So he sat down at the computer on his 43rd birthday and got started. While he’s not ancient by any means, a comment from his teenage daughter, who jokingly called him an “old guy,” gave him the spark for the book title.
Part memoir and part self-help book, “The Old Guy Rules” would seem to be for anyone out there who has ever felt beat down by life. It’s for single parents, for people who want to get in better physical shape and for middle-aged men and women battling to keep life fresh.
To all of the above, Rodgers can say he’s been there. Now happily remarried, he spent more than a decade as a single parent. He’s a bodybuilder who gets up at 4 a.m. to work out and can still bench press in excess of 400 pounds. And, while I haven’t yet read his book cover to cover, it’s clear in voice that he’s an optimist who has discovered ways to keep life exciting.
“I think I appreciate things a lot more because I have been through some tough times,” Rodgers says.
The book also serves, in a less obvious way, as a dose of inspiration for all those would-be novelists who keep plugging away at the keyboard. Rodgers wrote six unpublished books of fiction before penning his latest work.
“I’ve been trying for years to get books published,” Rodgers says, adding that he was floored when he got a call early this year from a small publishing house that wanted to see the manuscript.
In this age of information, there’s more than one way to reach the masses. “The Old Guy Rules” was published first as an e-book. The publishing company promised Rodgers that if it sold enough copies, a paperback run would follow. Rodgers did his own marketing through word of mouth and sold the required 200 e-books.
In addition to telling the story of Rodgers’ life, “The Old Guy Rules” touches on a surprisingly broad range of topics. It includes advice on finances, positive thinking, diet, energy drinks, exercise, raising children, living honorably and even Internet dating. Always the English teacher, Rodgers also provides a list of great book recommendations.
And somehow he pulls it all together.
“I didn’t sit down and say ‘I’m going to write a self-help book,’ but some of it turned out that way,” Rodgers says.
“You see all these self-help books written by celebrities, and that’s all well and good,” he adds, saying that he writes from the regular-guy perspective. “I thought it might be helpful for people to see that everyone goes through tough times.”
Many of Rodgers’ high school students have read the book and enjoyed it. One young woman told him it changed her life. But the book was written with baby boomers in mind.
“It’s mostly for people heading into that second half of their lives,” Rodgers says, “when you feel like you’re stagnating and you need a little motivation to pick up your game.”
Rodgers’ book can be purchased at his publisher’s Web site, www.smalldogma.com, or at his own Web site, www.theoldguyrules.com.
Article From The Effingham Daily News Written by Millie Lange
From the Gridiron to Life
By Millie Lange
Sports Editor, Effingham Daily News
Rodgers playing football at Eureka College
Jim Rodgers today
Jim Rodgers will be the first to tell you that athletics prepared him for life. But not exactly the life he was expecting.
Rodgers graduated from Effingham High School in 1982 where he played football. He was a talented athlete making the All-Apollo Conference team on both offense and defense. He also was named All-Area. He won several team awards for the Hearts including Lineman of the Year and sportsmanship.
"We actually had very good teams my junior and senior years," said Rodgers. "My junior year we got to the semifinals before losing to Harrisburg who went all the way to the championship game only to lose to Morris. I played with Barry Gravenhorst those years and I played right next to his brother Ted, who was the center. I was the guard and Barry was the tailback."
After high school, Rodgers took his talent on to the college level. He attended Eureka College, a Division III school on an academic scholarship. He played all four years and was an All-American and named the defensive player of the year as a senior for the conference. He was inducted into Eureka's Hall of Fame.
Rodgers graduated and became an English teacher and coached football.
"I started at Vandalia and then went to West Aurora and then on to Lake Zurich High School," said Rodgers. "The last 15 years I've been at Glenbard North High School in the Chicago suburbs.
"It was more difficult to coach than being a player. As a player you control the situation and as a coach you're asking 16-17 year old kids to perform on a given night and their minds are focused on other things. Some weren't as talented or as focused and you wanted to go out and do it for them. It was very frustrating at times. That was the toughest thing for me as a coach.
"I think athletics gave me confidence and opportunities. I think without athletics I wouldn't have gone to college or at least not be as successful as I was. I really believe that athletics were the major reason and influence on me becoming the man I am. The different coaches I had taught me about life and taught me to believe in myself. They taught me to value team work."
From college, the life lessons really began as Rodgers got married and had a boy and a girl.
"I got married right out of college," commented Rodgers. "We had a son not long after that. He got spinal meningitis at 18 months old and he almost died. There were several nights we didn't know if he was going to make it. He had to undergo all kinds of therapy after that. He had to start from square one.
"Probably a couple years after that my wife got transferred to California and I stayed in the Chicago suburbs because I was only halfway through my school year. After school I quit my job and the kids and I joined my wife in California. Unfortunately she had a separate life going and the kids and I weren't a part of it.
"It was too late to get my teaching job back in Illinois after I found out that she wanted a divorce. I had to start all over. She had spent everything we had and I and my kids had to move in with my parents and start looking for work. It was a pretty down time at that point.
"It was just a lucky happenstance that a job came up and I interviewed and had gotten it, but then I had to turn it down to go to California. But a teacher in that district died suddenly and they called me. I got the job again and it completely turned my life around.
"Here I was with a three-year-old and six-year-old. I was a single father, by myself, living in the Chicago suburbs. I spent the next 10 years working hard and getting my masters."
Along with that Rodgers kept himself in shape and when he turned 43, he decided it was time to share what he had learned by writing a book. Now 44, Rodgers' book called "The Old Guy Rules" was recently published.
"Things turned out great," said Rodgers. "I remarried recently. That's really what the book is about. You go through difficult times, you keep going and it will turn out okay.
"I actually tried for about six months to get my book published. Publishers showed interest, but nobody gave me a definite yes. I put it on the back burner. A small publishing company in Florida was interested. They loved it and they offered me a contract. The book came out in e-book in early spring. You have to sell so many and then it goes into print. The print version came out a few weeks ago.
"I've really kept myself in good shape over the years. I get up at 4 a.m. and work out. I was into martial arts and I lift weights religiously. Someone asked me how I juggled all this with kids and working out. I basically set up a list of rules for myself and I stuck to them and followed them. They said 'you ought to write a book about that' and so I did.
"My daughter Shelbi, who is 18 and is going to Eureka College this fall, calls me old guy sometimes, so that's what I decided to call the book. Each chapter is a different rule I've set forth for myself. It's a self help book, a motivational thing."
In his book, Rodgers talks about his struggles and how he managed a job, two small children and working out all at the same time.
"Many people look at my life now and think I've got it made and I guess, in a lot of ways, I do. But much of my life today has been forged in the heat of some tough times. That's Rule Number One in the book, learn the value of hard times. Rule Number Two is get your attitude right and Rule Number Three is use your time wisely."
Rodgers' book hits on exercise, diet, raising children, finances, positive thinking and is a self-help book.
"The book is mostly for the baby boomers," said Rodgers. "It's for those starting the second half of their lives. Sometimes they need a little pick-me-up and I hope the book helps."
Rodgers is now married to wife Darlene and along with Shelbi, his son Josh is 21 and works out of the home. Rodgers' parents, Roy and Bonnie Rodgers live in Effingham, along with his brother Jeff. Another brother, John, lives in Morris.
Rodgers’ book can be purchased at his publisher's Web site, www.smalldogma.com or at his own Web site, www.theoldguyrules.com.
The hard knocks of life turned Rodgers around and now he hopes he can help others who face the same obstacles he did.
